Why You’re Settling for the Wrong Person :: From Single Matters Magazine


It was our second date. And quite honestly, one date too many. As I sat across from this man I’d known only a couple of weeks, a million reasons crossed my mind as to why I shouldn’t be there. I’d just witnessed him making fun of someone. He talked non-stop about the other women he’d recently dated. He was arrogant. He complained about the menu choices. The prices. His job. The weather.

Then he reached for my hand and looked at me with the greenest eyes I’d ever seen. “You’re beautiful,” he said.

I started wondering if I was being too harsh. He could be really funny, after all. He had a good job. He was crazy about his children. He made me laugh. We had great conversations.

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  1. I am not a single mom but my husband works a lot and is gone quite a bit so I feel like one most of the time. My latest issue has been with a few people telling me that my oldest daughter who is 5 needs to be more confident and also needs to be more assertive. It breaks my heart when people tell me that because I feel that I had those issues when I was younger and I still do now a little bit. I have a hard time standing out for fear of being rejected I think and also for fear of what I think as criticism. I am anxious because my daughter will be going to kindergarten and I don’t want her to be labeled as “shy” , or slow because she is a listener more so. I used to hate being called shy because it carried such negative description with it. I am working on myself in those areas so it’s hard for me to be helpful for my daughter with those painful past issues. I have heard once chldren are labeled it’s hard to let go of those labels. I need prayer to love and accept my children the way that they are and to not reject them (because of my pain) when they exhibit those tendancies. I need prayer for patience and kindness toward my children. Grace.

    Jennifer-mom of 2 beautiful Godly girls ages 3 and 5

  2. Jennifer,
    What you are describing is what a lot of young children are like. Mine included, though they are now older. My oldest (who’s now 17) was so shy I worried she’d never be able to stand on her own. But, in the last year she organized a cheer team for her school, led a fundraiser by herself, and has been taking college classes while in high school. Children grow, just as we do, in what they are willing to risk. Some come out of the gate risk takers (like my sons), others take time to dip their toes in the water. I can guarantee you this: God has made your daughter that way for a reason, and made you the same for a reason. Shyness usually comes with sensitivity and empathy–two things the world needs more of. Give her time. I bet you’ll look back one day, as I do now, and be amazed and what she can do. <3

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