Popping the Single Mom Bubble

Ok, I’ll admit it. I’ve been living in a bubble. In fact, if there were a way to place the largest bubble known to man around my home, car, and person at all times, I’d have already figured that out. And it would be bright pink, in case you’re wondering.

The truth is, this is something I’ve noticed about many single moms in my few years amongst them. This pulling back from life and living in our little bubbles of safety. Because whatever situation occurred that caused our marriages to end, most of us sat in shock and disbelief. Most of us had no intentions of being on this path. Most of us were stunned. And so we did the only thing we knew to do: we retreated from the world in hopes that it would make the pain stop.

Because the world hasn’t shown itself kind to single moms. Even parts of the world we happily lived in before. And so it seems logical, and safe, and really the only thing that makes any sense—this placing of the bubble around us.

But that’s not a good thing, sweet friends.

Because when something of this magnitude happens in your life, you likely realize that the life you were living was a shell of the one you thought you had. You were already accepting less. You just either couldn’t see it, or wouldn’t admit it. And by choosing to live in a bubble going forward, we’re not truly protecting ourselves from anyone or anything. We are simply accepting less than life has to offer. Less than what we were willing to accept before.

As if we needed less than the crumbs we were likely getting.

Now, let me say here, that there is a time for grieving. That’s not the bubble I’m talking about. You need to grieve your loss. Doing so is a good thing. It’s what prepares your heart to move on. But, once that season is over, you need to pop that bubble.

Because bubbles exist in a state of suspension. They float above life’s surface, unable to connect with anyone or anything. The surface is blurred and doesn’t allow things to be seen clearly. It’s at the mercy of the wind, and therefore has no real direction for moving forward.

And each of us deserves and needs to move forward toward living the life our earlier selves dreamed of. Did you know it’s still out there for the taking?

God hasn’t left us in this mess. He hasn’t forgotten His plans for us. He hasn’t witnessed what happened in our lives and decided that we can no longer have the good things He wanted to give.

Instead, He has grieved with us. No one has been more heartbroken than Him over what we have suffered. That we suffer still. No one has ached more as we cried. No one has risen up to protect us more quickly as we sat in fear. No one has held us closer as we begged to simply fade away. He’s been with us through it all, and wants us to come through it to the other side—outside of that bubble.

Because outside of that bubble is the life He planned all along. He’s not surprised by this turn of events in our lives. And He more than anyone wants us to know that it’s ok to live again. That we still have work He needs us to do.

That it’s ok to want more.

  • To make choices about how our new lives will be that may go against every choice we’ve made in our past.
  • To cut ties with those that no longer need to be in our lives, and find encouragers and supporters instead.
  • To choose pathways for our families that veer off from the path we were once on.
  • To rise to the occasion. To be who He has called us to be.

Just outside of that bubble, He wants to show us that His promises remain.

Hebrews 11:1 says,

“Now faith is being sure we will get what we hope for. It is being sure of what we cannot see.”

Because faith takes risk. Faith takes courage. Faith takes stepping out of where we feel safe so that we can not only be served by others, but serve them in return.

So, let’s step out of our bubbles of safety, moms. Let’s put in our ear plugs as we place a collective pin into our bubbles. Let’s pull ourselves back into life with no fear of the past. But full of hope for the future that God has planned all along.

It’s where He wants you next. Living life to the fullest measure.

I’m ready. Are you?

 

 

Stop by Proverbs 31 Ministries, Suzie Eller’s, blog this Live Free Thursday to discover more stories about living free. <3

LIVEFREETHURSDAY

Want to connect with other single moms of faith? Stop by The Christian Single Mom on facebook!

 

Want to stay in touch? C’mon, subscribe to our mailing list!

* indicates required



 

8 Comments

  1. Great post. Having a friend who recently divorced, this also gives me a great perspective to walk alongside of her well. Thank you. #livefreeThursday

  2. Laura, you had me from your title. I identify with every single emotion in your post. I becameunexpectedly single 4 years ago after my husband passed away. Glad to find you this morning from #livefreeThursday.

  3. Great thoughts! Especially on the description of how a bubble keeps us separate and can blur our fusion. No one ever plans to be a single mother…your words are encouraging…keep writing! #livefreethursday

  4. Very well written Laura! I can relate to this as I grew up with a single mom but I can also apply it to when I was the first to be the empty nest mom and most recently the first in my circle of friends to retire. It can falsely seem safe to isolate ourselves but how much better to ” live life to the fullest measure!”

  5. I always love your words, Laura, and the perspective it gives me from a standpoint of which I am unfamiliar. It shows me how to better show love and support to single mama’s, and for that I am grateful. You are incredible, I am honored to know you, and I am always praying for you! #livefreeThursday

Let's Talk. Leave Your Comment Here.