One who tries her best. Stays connected with God. And, strives to do what she can to bring others to Jesus.
But, sometimes, I feel like I’m failing this gig. And, I don’t think I’m alone in that feeling.
I don’t know what it is about being a Christian that makes us afraid to admit when we are struggling with our faith, our identity, or even depression about our situation. Maybe it’s the fact that we are fully aware that others are always watching. That we may literally be “the only Bible some will ever read.”
So we put up this valiant effort. To be a good example, a godly example. And we hold it up there for a while, believing we’ve found the groove that all Christian’s want to fit into. The one in which we reflect Jesus.
Until we make a big mess of it all. We do something that we feel has put us at the back of the line again. And we secretly start to feel like the rest of the world: that it’s unattainable.
Except that it isn’t. This groove with Jesus. It’s just that we’re looking at it all wrong in the first place.
We’re more concerned about the numbers. The things we volunteer for. The way our children reflect our faith. We want it all to look perfect so that everyone will understand how important He is in our lives. Because He truly is. And we begin to beat ourselves up when we can’t do it all—this unattainable example of godliness. Even though we truly want to.
It’s in those seasons of want to, that we may be missing the point entirely. And it’s when I’m failing at it, that I’m most reminded of that.
Jesus came here to show us an example knowing that it was the pinnacle. He loved us so much, He knew we needed a better understanding of how to live this life for Him. And yet, He understood that what we have to do here can feel overwhelming and impossible at times. He wanted us to seek godliness, knowing we would have to rely fully on him in that process.
Because godly people struggle with their faith. They question whether or not they believe enough. Are close enough. Trust enough.
Godly people struggle with their identity. They have pasts to deal with. Some which are truly ugly. Ones that make them question who they are in this world, and if they even deserve what Jesus offers.
Godly people struggle to hold it all together. The world can be an awful place at times, overwhelming us physically and mentally even as we tell ourselves it shouldn’t. It still does.
The only difference between us and the rest of the world is that we have this huge safety net to fall back into. As we fly high, and flip, and show everyone our tricks, at the end of the day we know we’ll be caught by His grace.
And what the rest of the world, or even other Christians, think doesn’t matter one bit.
Jesus surrounded himself with people just like us who struggled in their faith. People who needed a Savior to guide them. People who knew they wouldn’t measure up and received open arms instead of self-righteousness. People who made bad choices, and received mercy instead of judgment. People who exposed their messes, and received healing instead of a lecture.
Are we being that kind of Jesus to others? Or is striving for godliness getting in the way?